Draco Malfoy's Diary
by Swirly Head
Summary: Well, what the title says, really. Draco's diary...or JOURNAL...of his first year at Hogwarts. It's a little different to Harry's...
1. Journal

Diary  
  
June 16th   
  
Testing. Testing. My name is Draco Malfoy. I am eleven years old. I am the best   
wizard ever. I am wonderful. I am brilliant. I am gorgeous. This quill pen works.   
Good. Someone gave me this diary as a birthday present. I'm writing in it now to   
show how much I love it.   
  
Why did they buy me a diary? Do they think I'm gay?  
  
July 21st  
  
How stupid is this? Lucius told me to start keeping a diary. Well, he said journal,   
but I know they're the same thing. I think it's because my Hogwarts letter arrived   
today. Good. I'm glad. Means I can get away from my boring, soppy mother and   
my overbearing, over strict father.   
  
I wanted to go to Hogwarts, anyway. Lucius wanted me to go to Durmstrang, but   
it was an awfully long way away, and mummy dearest wanted me to be close by.   
Don't know why, exactly. I just think Hogwarts sounds better. More English, more   
famous.   
  
I'm going to be in Slytherin.   
  
Malfoys have always gone to Hogwarts. Lucius just thinks he's better than any   
other Malfoy that's ever existed. I already know about loads of Dark Arts stuff,   
and Durmstrang'll be too cold.  
  
So I'm glad that I'm going to Hogwarts.  
  
This stupid journal has managed to establish that one fact, then. Wonderful. I'm   
sure Lucius has visions of me actually writing down my plans to take over the   
world. Not that I have plans to take over the world, he just expects me to. Well,   
not bloody likely. What would I want to do something like that for? Just means   
more work. I think I'm too lazy to be the son Lucius wants.  
  
Well, fuck him.  
  
Oh no, naughty. I swore in my diary. That's another thing. If you're reading this   
now, in the morning you'll have enormous, sore, painful boils all over your face   
and arms. Ha ha ha. Score one for me.  
  
That's all for now. In a few weeks I'm off to Diagon Alley to get my school things.   
Let the games begin.  
  
Ha. Ha. Ha.  
  
August 3rd  
  
Went to Diagon Alley. Got bored. Had ice-cream. Had Bertie Botts. Think sweets   
have got something against me, kept picking out spit flavour. Bought books and   
robes and things. Met stupid boy in robe shop. He's going to Hogwarts too, bet   
he's a Hufflepuff.  
  
Oh yeah, I got my wand. That was the best thing about the entire day. We went   
into Ollivander's, and he didn't look very pleased to see my father. Don't blame   
him. Lucius has a terrible temper. Plus, he was wearing some very ugly purple   
robes. Made him look like like an enormous grape.  
  
Anyway, Ollivander gave me tons of wands to use. None of them worked, and he   
was getting more and more excited. Kept muttering things under his breath. In a   
perverted way, I think it was turning him on. Then finally I swished this wand, my   
wand, through the air and it made silver stars.   
  
I'd done a little magic before, of course, but not like this. It made my arm go all   
warm, and then it was warm all over my body, right down to my toes. Turns out   
my wand's ten inches, yew, rather tough with a core made from the hair of a   
Veela.   
  
Veelas are these beautiful women and no man is immune to their charms. Ha.   
Suits me.  
  
That was the best thing. The worst thing was when we got home. I told Lucius   
that he looked like an enormous grape. I mean, he really, really did. I was doing   
the man a favour.  
  
I should have kept my mouth shut.  
  
  
September 1st  
  
Today was my first day at Hoggy Warty Hogwarts. Quite eventful, actually. Hope   
none of the other Slytherins see me writing in this thing. On second thoughts,   
none of them would do anything. I'm the most popular first year. In my house.   
The most popular first year in the school would have to be Potter.  
  
Wonderful Harry Potter.  
  
Better start from the beginning. Got up quite early in the morning, and Narcissca   
insisted on delivering me to the station. Lucius just stayed in bed. We got to the   
station, she started crying, I gave he a quick kiss on the cheek, and walked   
through the platform wall.  
  
There was no-one else there. I was the first. I felt like a right idiot, stood there, all   
by myself. But Malfoys keep a stiff upper lip, so I stayed there. Then, little by   
little, other people started to arrive. I saw Crabbe and Goyle, my friends back   
home. Well, not really friends. Lackeys. They just generally do everything I say.   
We went and grabbed a compartment and sat there in silence for a while.   
  
This stupid simpering girl poked her head round the door. God, she's ugly. Pansy   
Parkinson, she's got a face like a dog. She is a dog. Took one look at me and   
started blushing, asking if she could sit with us. Can't blame her. One good thing   
the grape gave me was his face. I told her no, of course, and she just sat down   
anyway.   
  
So I left the compartment and went in search of fun. C and G followed. There   
was a rumour going around about Harry Potter being on the train. I didn't really   
believe it, but I thought I should go and introduce myself. Always good to make   
connections.  
  
Potter turned out to be the specky git from Madame Malkin's! It was all I could do   
to keep from laughing. Then the ugly Weasley boy he was hanging around with   
stated laughing at my name.  
  
Better than his. Ron Weasley. What sort of a name is Ron? Draco is about ten   
times better, it means dragon. Ha. I'm a dragon, and Ron's just a freckle faced,   
ugly, poor Weasel. The Weasel and Potty. Ha ha ha.  
  
I offered Potter a seat in my compartment, but the stuck up tosspot threw it back   
in my face. Didn't even offer us a chocolate frog, then the Weasel's mangy rat   
attacked Goyle! Well, we excused ourselves and returned to the compartment.  
  
I slept most of the way. It was really very boring. Another ugly, bushy haired girl   
called Hermione shoved her face in the door, started going on about some toad   
gone missing. I just sneered at her and she went away.   
  
Are all witches actually disgustingly ugly?  
  
I swear, I haven't seen a single good looking one since I got on the stupid train. I   
need to find another adjective. Stupid doesn't even cover what happened next.  
  
We had to ride in boats. With Hagrid, the giant mistake. Nature's freak called us   
all over, and I got pond weed on my new cloak. It wasn't exactly a earth shaking   
experience.  
  
The Sorting Hat thing was yawn. I knew I'd be in Slytherin. When I shoved the   
stupid thing on my head I just thought I'm in Slytherin. It told me that it would put   
me where it wanted and I threatened to hunt it down and burn it. Then it just   
yelled Slytherin. Ha. As if an imbecilic hat could decide anything for itself?  
  
I knew Potter would be in Gryffindor. Well, hope he has fun there. Everyone   
knows Gryffindors are all brawn and no brains.  
  
So then there was a huge feast, blah, blah, blah.  
  
Nothing else really happened. I got into the common room and we met Professor   
Snape. He's the head of our house, and I think he's brilliant. He's really clever,   
and he was really horrible to this Hufflepuff who got in the way. That's what   
Dumbledore should be like.  
  
Anyway, I called a bed. It's not as comfortable as our one at home. The Slytherin   
common room and dormitories are really dark and cold. I'm just glad that there's   
fires in each room.  
  
I miss Narcissca a little. Only because she used to leave chocolate frogs on my   
pillow every night. The grape can go and kill himself for all I care.   
  
So actually I just miss the chocolate frogs.  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Potty and Weasel

A/N Thanks very much to all the people who reviewed this before! Much appreciated...I'm glad you all seem to like it so far. Here's the next installments...  
  
  
  
4th September  
  
Today I had Astronomy, History of Magic and Transfiguration.  
  
Hah. McGonagall teaches Transfiguration, and she's a miserable old hag.   
Turned her desk into a pig and back again. I yawned. I hate it when people   
expect you to be impressed. Then all we did was listen her going on and on,   
before she let us have a go. We had to try and turn a match into a needle.   
  
A match into a needle?  
  
They almost look exactly the same anyway. By the end of the lesson my match   
was still a match, so when she wasn't looking I chewed the end off to make it   
look pointy! Professor I've-got-a-strict-scottish-name-and-wear-my-hair-in-a-bun-  
and-have-probably-never-had-sex grudgingly said that at least mine was the   
shape of a needle.  
  
Ha! So much for her teaching skills.  
  
History of Magic is taught by a ghost. I ask you, a ghost. Not only does he teach   
history, he is history. It had to be the most boring lesson ever. Who cares about   
the Goblin Revolt? All I need to know is that goblins are revolting. So is   
Parkinson. She keeps squinting at me with her little black eyes. Makes me   
shudder.  
  
Narcissca sent me a package today. I've only been gone for three bloody days!   
The woman really is pathetic. Grape Man enclosed a picture of himself and   
Mother. Narcissca wrote a sappy letter. Didn't bother to read it. It probably went   
something like...  
  
Dearest Dracs,  
  
I love you my liddle scrummy buns. I miss you so much, the house is so empty   
without your idle widdle voice. Mummy wuvs you so, Draccy. Your father says   
hello and says he loves you too.   
  
A thousand smooches,  
  
Mummy.  
  
Please. Lucius says he loves me? How stupid does she really think I am? Lucius   
is more likely to dye his hair pink and elope with Dumbledore than say that he   
loves me.  
  
The picture isn't even a proper picture. Horrible git cut it out from the Daily   
prophet. He's receiving some sort of award. Hah. The only reason he ever gets   
awards are because everyone's scared about what will happen if they don't give   
him one. Probably worried he'll squirt them with his vicious grape juice or   
something. I've changed my mind about the grape. He's wearing black robes in   
this picture.  
  
Now he looks like a sour grape.  
  
Astronomy happens at night time. More boring, just looking at stars and things,   
then writing down what we saw. I livened up the lesson by sticking a picture of a   
comet on the professors telescope, then put a Sparkling Charm on it. Idiot   
thought it was a real comet and started getting all excited. Everyone else thought   
it was hilarious, but I got five points taken off Slytherin.  
  
Now I'm tired. So it's off to beddy-byes. I'm keeping the picture of my mummy   
and daddy under my pillow. I miss them so much, it hurts.  
  
Not.  
  
  
5th September  
  
I'm a genius.  
  
We had Potions today, and I'm brilliant at it. What's better, we have it with the   
Gryffindors. At first I thought it would be really rubbish. But no. For one thing,   
Professor Snape teaches Potions, and the guy loves me. He loves me almost as   
much as he totally and completely HATES Potter.  
  
He started the lesson by asking Potter these questions. I mean, they were pretty   
hard. I knew the answer to one of them, the one about the bezoar, but was I   
going to help Potty out? Was I hell.  
  
That stupid little Muggle born Granger kept putting her hand up. What a bore!   
She's probably memorized all of her books. I bet she's top of the class in   
everything. Sour Grapes won't be happy. I think he's got this idea that I'm really   
super smart. I mean, what does he expect? Clever and good looking? Well, okay,   
I am pretty smart. But I'm not great at everything.  
  
Which made Potions all the more fun because Snape kept using my work as an   
example to the rest of the class. I was really proud, because I'd done it really   
carefully as well. I hadn't cheated or anything, just followed the instructions.   
  
I think Potty was a little jealous. Well, so he should be. I'm better than him. At   
potions, anyway. And he should just wait until we start flying lessons. I bet he's   
never ridden a broomstick in his life! I'm great at flying. If first years were allowed   
on their house teams, I'd be on it. I'd be the Seeker.  
  
Now for something a little different. To answer my earlier question, there are   
pretty witches. Problem is, none of them are in Slytherin. Not like I particularly   
want a girlfriend now, but someday I will. I mean, what am I going to do? Date   
Pansy Parkinson?  
  
Would Sour Grape prefer me to go out with a pug, or stay single and hold out for   
something better?  
  
To tell you the truth, I don't think he really cares. I know one thing though. My lips   
aren't coming anywhere near hers. Not if you paid me. Not if Lucius paid me.   
Which at some point, he probably will.  
  
Life is fairly good. C & G are getting to be really tiresome. They can't string two   
words together. It's getting to be annoying, the only times I ever have proper   
conversations anymore are when I'm writing in my diary or arguing with Potty and   
the Weasel.   
  
Still, don't want friends who are too clever, just look at Granger. Or the Rabbit, as   
I've taken to calling her. Imagine having that as your best pal.  
  
  
7th September.  
  
I have nothing to write. Weasel's oldest brother is a prat. Percy the Prefect. Get   
him back later. Hehehe.  
  
  
9th September  
  
What's wrong with Professor Quirrel? We had Defense Against the Dark Arts   
today. It was crap. I thought it'd be brilliant, all learning how to fight and duel and   
stuff, but no. We just sat there while he tried to explain ho he'd killed a vampire.  
  
How hard can it be? Stake through the heart. It's dust. And I wonder why he   
wears that turban all the time. Maybe he's hiding something? I don't know.  
  
Flying lessons start next week. And we've got them with the Gryffindors.  
  
Oh joy.  
  
P.S Daddy says to tell you that you'll always be his ickle fluffy dragon.  
  
That was an actual extract from Narcissca's latest offering. I felt like I'd eaten a   
bag of Cockroach Cluster.   
  
  
14th September  
  
Had flying lessons today. It was just completely crap. To start with it was alright. I   
mean, that morning, after breakfast, Longbottom yells out that he's got a   
Rememberall. Why couldn't Narcissca send me something useful like that? I   
mean, sweets and everything much appreciated, but I don't want to get fat.  
  
Anyway, as we walked past the Gryffindor's table, I picked the thing up to take a   
look at it. Typical Longbottom, whined to Potty. Potty started to tell McGonagall,   
so I put it back. Like I said, I was only looking.  
  
Flying lessons. I was really looking forward to flying lessons. Starts off stupid   
bloody Madam Hooch tells me that I've been holding my broom wrong for years.   
Saw Potty and Weasel snigger. Not my fault if Grape's crap at flying, is it? I think   
I'll write and tell him later. Maybe he'll see it as a personal insult and get Hooch   
sacked. Ha.  
  
Then Longbottom falls off his broom and breaks his wrist. I saw the Rememberall   
and picked it up so I could give it back to him later. Potty then felt he had to   
assert his so called authority yet again - I tell you, he's like some sort of dog,   
trying to make out that it's leader of the pack.  
  
Well, I couldn't resist it. I was just going to pretend to leave the Rememberall up   
a tree...as if I'd actually do something like that. I flew up and they all gasped.   
What, did they think I was lying when I told them I could fly? Then Potty, of all   
people, suddenly kicks off and follows me up there. He proceeded to actually   
threaten me...threaten me, of all people, and I...well, I saw red.  
  
I threw the stupid thing up in the air and went back to the ground. What   
happened next, I don't want to discuss. Suffice to say, Potty is now Seeker for   
the Gryffindor Quidditch team.  
  
I hate Harry Potter.  
  



	3. I Hate Harry Potter

  
15th September  
  
Thought of the perfect way to get back at Potty. When we walked past his table   
this morning, I challenged him and the Weasel to a wizard's duel! And Weasel,   
like the idiot he is, accepted!   
  
Ha.  
  
Like I'm going to try and duel Potty. Who knows, he really might have some   
super strange magic powers. I don't want to even risk getting beaten by him! No,   
I'm just not going to show up, and tip Filch off that two students may be   
wandering around the school late at night.  
  
Just read through that last bit of writing and found I'd used three exclamation   
marks. Must stop, makes it look like I'm less than sarcastic.  
  
So, until tomorrow and Potty's downfall, I am left with nothing to do. Except have   
fun. Yeah. Maybe I can play a game of chess with Crabbe? Oh, no. Out of the   
question. He ate one of my pawns yesterday. Perhaps a spot of fencing? Nope.   
Goyle doesn't know how, and doesn't understand that the concept of fencing isn't   
actually to mortally wound someone.  
  
Looks like another evening of reading and trying to get away from Pansy the   
Cow.  
  
  
I went to the library to read, and who should be there? Little miss-hasn't-got-any-  
friends Granger, of course. Who else?  
  
She was reading Hogwarts: A History. That has to be the Dullest Book: In   
History. I only got past the first chapter. She gave me a dirty look, and I gave her   
one back. Then I settled down to read my book. It's about dragons. A little   
conceited, you think, just because my name's Draco?  
  
Well, yeah.  
  
But it's a lot better than reading about Hogwarts. She must be a real bore, not to   
have made any friends yet. Glad I've got some.  
  
16th September  
  
Potty mysteriously managed to evade all trouble. There isn't even one point   
missing from the Gryffindor house thingy. I was so mad that I couldn't even force   
one slice of toast down my throat. Then, to make things even worse, if that's   
possible, Potty suddenly gets a broomstick by owl delivery.  
  
My first thought on seeing it come through the window was Narcissca's outdone   
herself this time…but then it just floated on over to Potty. Of course I went to   
investigate. Turns out it's a Nimbus Two Thousand! Top of the range broom, and   
first years aren't even allowed broomsticks. Well, I tried to explain it to Professor   
Flitwick. Does he take any notice?  
  
No, because the rules have been bent, as always, for silly little specky git, fluffy   
haired, rat faced slimy broomstick genius Potter.  
  
Well, I don't care. Not really. He doesn't even know how to play Quidditch. Let's   
just pray that one of the Bludgers kills him. Yes, kills him.  
  
Anyway, back to the Weasel's brother, Percy. He told me off a few weeks ago for   
sneaking around after hours, and took off three whole points for Slytherin.   
Understandably, I had a problem with this. First off, I wasn't sneaking around   
after hours. Rather embarrassingly, I'd misplaced the password to get into the   
common room. Well, alright. I'd forgotten it. 'Jiggly' is an extremely stupid   
password if you ask me. Secondly, he was sneaking around after hours, catching   
me sneaking around after hours, so really he should have taken points from   
himself for sneaking around….  
  
So I've finally exacted my revenge. There's a Ravenclaw girl in his year,   
something Clearwater. I heard through certain sources (PP if you must know)   
that our Percy has something of a crush on her. Taking matters into my own   
hands I wrote him a love letter, alledgely from her, and left it at his desk in the   
library.  
When he's read it, he'll no doubt go try and sweep her off her feet...and when he   
does…hehehehe. Revenge is sweet. Here's the letter.  
  
Percy,  
  
I don't know if you've noticed me around school…but I've certainly noticed you.   
Every time I see that shock of lustrous red hair pass by my heart skips several   
beats, possibly even ten. I'm surprised that I'm not yet dead. You're so clever as   
well, I don't understand why you aren't in Ravenclaw. I may have hidden my   
feeling ever so well, but I am yours for the taking, Percy. If you want me, tell me   
how you feel, but you must never speak of this letter. It will be our secret.  
  
Forever yours, Penny Clearwater.  
  
You don't think I overdid it a little? I thought the lustrous red hair bit was rather   
good…how I worked in the word lust as well. Maybe I could start a business   
writing love letters.  
  
25th September  
  
Saw Potty practicing Quidditch. Spat at him, but it didn't hit him. Obviously not,   
seeing as how he was flying about a hundred feet above my head at the time.  
  
Hate Potty.  
  
27th September  
  
Professor Quirrel is decidedly strange. Very, very strange. I walked in on him   
yesterday, and he was muttering to himself, eyes closed, without that awful   
turban on for a change. I was going to ask him if I could have an extension on the   
latest essay ( vampires: again) and he flipped. I mean, really mental. Worse than   
Lucius even. Ran at me, shouting, grabbing his turban.  
  
I think the man has serious issues with his hair.  
  
3rd October  
  
Today in Potions I flicked some Dissolving Elixer on to the hem of Potty's robe. It   
had dissolved all the way up to his pants before Professor Snape noticed and   
gave him the antidote.  
  
Ha.   
  
16th October  
  
Just had a thought. No package from Narcissca for a week. Wonder if   
something's happened? Is she dead?  
  
17th October  
  
Extra large package arrived today, trying to make up for lack of last week. I'd just   
about gotten worried enough to send an owl back home. Glad I don't have to,   
because I'm running out of ink. I'm not going to write in diary unless it's really   
important.  
  
21st October  
  
I hate Potty.  
  
24th October  
  
I hate Weasel.  
  
25th October   
  
Granger asked me what I was reading in the library today. I asked her to go and   
bug someone who actually liked her, then added as an after thought that no-one   
actually liked her. That shut her up.  
  
I hate Granger too.  
  
29th October  
  
Today in Charms we made things fly. Wingardium Leviosa. I made my quill fly   
right into Professor Flitwick's forehead, then apologised, saying I hadn't seen   
him. Quite easy to miss the little dwarf. My pen left a nice black spot.   
  
Ha.   
  
It's Halloween soon. I can't wait, there'll be loads of good food and stuff. Maybe   
Lucius will really get into the spirit of things and commit suicide.  
  
Ha ha ha.  
  
  



	4. Halloween

A/N I know this instalment is very short, and I apologise, but I've got a lot of   
things on at the moment. School work, we've got exams at the moment, and so   
on. Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing, you're all brilliant! A few   
answers…  
  
1)I made Draco call his parents by their first names because I assume he'd   
do that. I don't think he likes them that much, just plays them for gifts.  
2)I think Draco's actually quite an intelligent character, it just gets masked by   
his meanness sometimes. That's why the writing style's quite mature.  
  
There won't be any massive updates until next weekend. See you all then!  
  
  
  
October 31st  
  
Finally, Halloween. I love Halloween. And the decorations here are nearly as   
good as the ones at home. We have loads of brilliant stuff back at the manor over   
Halloween…Lucius really knocks himself out. Obviously he doesn't actually   
knock himself out, because that would be too perfect…no, there's a massive   
party.  
  
Narcissca pretties herself up, I get stuffed into some dress robes…I hate my   
dress robes, they make me look like a vicar. Then we have this feast with all of   
Lucius' friends...hah, some friends.  
  
They're all ex Death Eaters.  
  
He thinks I want to be a Death Eater too. Not likely. They're all psychos. Anyway,   
no-one needs to hear about them. I think I'd like to do something with dark Arts,   
though. Maybe I could go round killing Death Eaters.  
  
Maybe I could kill Lucius.  
  
Saw Granger running down the corridor crying, she headed into a girl's toilet.   
Wonder who made her all weepy and upset…probably got less than full marks   
for her homework.  
  
Later Hogwarts was all ready to celebrate, when the cry goes up that there's a   
doll running amok. Naturally, I wondered what all the fuss was about, before I   
pulled my head out of the pumpkin pie and realised that there was actually a   
TROLL running about.  
  
Needless to say, we were all shepherded back to our rooms by the prefects.   
Hope that some of the Gryffindors got eaten…I mean, with Percy the Perfectly   
Crap Prefect to protect them how could they fail to be massacred in some shape   
or form?  
  
1st November  
  
No-one got eaten, though at breakfast this morning Granger, Potty and Weasel   
looked very friendly with one another. And there's another rumour going round   
that between the three of them they managed to knock out the troll.  
  
Huh. One whiff of Weasel's socks would knock it out pretty quickly.  
  
2nd November  
  
It's very, very cold. When we got back in today from flying lessons, my fingers   
were almost purple.  
  
People are right when they say I look like my father.  
  
3rd November  
  
Still cold. Narcissca sent me some leftover stuff from the Halloween feast. No   
lovey-dovey message from Lucius this time…she was probably hung over when   
she wrote it, and forgot to make something up.  
  
7th November   
  
Gryffindor vs Slytherin in the first Quidditch match of the season. I hope we win.  



	5. Leather

A/N Realised that I have made a humongus mistake, and forgot to include the   
first Quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor. So what I've done is   
repost the last chapter, but included a new bit on the first Quidditch match. Sorry!  
  
  
  
3rd November  
  
Still cold. Narcissca sent me some leftover stuff from the Halloween feast. No   
lovey-dovey message from Lucius this time…she was probably hungover when   
she wrote it, and forgot to make something up. Well, I don't mind. Just saves me   
from having to throw up. Means my stomach acid gets to stay where it belongs,   
in my stomach. Which is good because….Quidditch tomorrow! Gryffindor versus   
Slytherin…  
  
Potty's playing for the first time, it's his virgin outing. Hope nothing nasty happens   
to him.  
  
Quidditch!  
  
4th November  
  
I am too disgusted to write anything tonight. I have two words.  
  
Life crap.  
  
Okay, that would have made more sense if I'd inserted an is, but I couldn't be   
bothered. That's just how crap life is.  
  
5th November  
  
Slytherin lost. We lost, and it's all Potty's fault. Well…no, wait a minute. For once   
I'm actually right, it IS all Potty's fault. Everything seemed to be going well at first.   
Flint gave the team a pep talk, which I listened in on. It was more of a if-we-don't-  
win-I'm-going-to-twist-your-nostrils-inside-out-so-they-look-like-eyelids-except-  
on-the-end-of-your-ugly-noses talk than a pep talk, really. And I was surprised   
that someone as stupid as Flint could be so inventive when he swore.  
  
I found a decent seat, and Crabbe and Goyle thumped down next to me. Goyle   
had something on the end of his nose, but I didn't investigate any further.  
  
Then the players took to the skies, like proud eagles in flight, like acrobats   
swooping and diving, like mice on toothpicks…can you tell I'm being sarcastic?   
Anyway, everything seemed to be going alright…until Potty started shaking   
around on his broomstick.  
  
At first it looked like he was just finding the wind a little rough. Then the   
movement started to speed up and he was soon jerking up and down like he was   
riding some giant vibrator in the sky.  
  
While P was getting his thrills, Slytherin scored. I was cheering and everything,   
thought we were going to win…then it happened. Potter, who I am beginning to   
seriously suspect of being Dumbledore and Hagrid's love child, (they both adore   
him), swooped down the ground. I thought he was going to crash and hurt   
himself, doing me a favour…but no.  
  
He rolls over and spits out the bloody Snitch!   
  
Like some stupid tree frog with a big mouth, didn't even take any skill, it was all   
luck. Grrrrrr.  
  
I stormed back to bed, didn't even talk to Cor G. It's not fair, why can't I ever be   
on the winning side?  
  
Answer – because if I ever got to win anything, ever came out top in anything, it   
would make me as good as Potter. And that's forbidden, isn't it? Don't I have   
feelings too? Just because I sneer a lot, and come from a rich background and   
my father happens to be an evil sod and I make fun of people and am really quite   
vindictive doesn't mean I'm a horrible person.  
  
Oh, alright. It does.   
  
16th November  
  
I really think I should make a few lists. Then when I look back on this diary…I   
mean journal…in a few years time I'll be able to see what's changed.  
  
List of People I Like  
  
Hmmm…Professor Snape. Oh, alright, Narcissa. Crabbe and Goyle…not really,   
but they laugh at my jokes. I don't think they fully understand them, but they   
laugh.  
  
List of People I Hate  
  
Potty. Weasel. Rabbit. Dumb-old-dore, Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, or the   
Lumbering Oaf, Peeves, in fact all of the ghosts. Filch. And last but definitely not   
least, Lucius. You can't blame me, the man complains about vanity being a sin,   
then spends hundreds of Galleons on gel and various other hair care products.   
Idea…perhaps Lucius is going bald? I'll make sure I make some reference to the   
light reflecting brightly off his remaining hair…god. If he goes bald, the man really   
WILL start to look like a grape.  
  
List of Favourite Subjects  
  
Potions. Urgh…can't think of any more. DADA has the potential to be good.   
Charms is alright, and I quite like Transfiguration. Hate all the teachers though.   
  
List of Things I Like  
  
Quidditch, and reading. Only interesting books, though. Having a good time.   
Haven't really been having a good time recently.  
  
List of Things I Hate  
  
Muggle stuff. Boring! And doing homework and I also really really hate Bertie   
Botts Beans. There's a conspiracy against me, I know it. Just yesterday I think I   
had plastic flavour. Plastic. Could it get any worse? Wait, there was the blood   
one the day before that...yeugggh. I'm definitely not planning to become a   
vampire at any time in the future.   
  
19th November  
  
Blah, blah, blah.  
  
31st November  
  
Hum di hum.  
  
5th December  
  
Today I went to meet Narcissa. What a treat. She, or Lucius, arranged it with   
Dumbledore – snore so I could walk into Hogsmeade and meet with her. Well, I   
couldn't walk there on my own, so some Slytherin third years took me. You   
should have seen the look on the Weasel's face!  
  
She seemed alright, a little upset. Glad to see me though. No care package but   
we had a decent sort of meal. Forgot about the way she scrapes her teeth   
against the fork. Scrape, scrape, scrape. It really starts to get on your nerves   
after a while.  
  
When I got back to Hogwarts it was quite late. I think she wanted me to give her   
a kiss or something, so I hugged the woman. She started snivelling. Pathetic.   
  
Back in the common room everyone was either asleep or somewhere else. I sat   
around for a bit. Alone. Sniffle.   
  
It's not like I mind being alone, really. Gives me time to think about things. Like   
what I'll do or say tomorrow to make people respect me/adore me/want to shove   
something where the sun don't shine.  
  
6th December  
  
Strange day.  
  
It snowed, and I put a Filibuster Firework inside a snowball, then threw it at Potty!   
Would have been wonderful if Mrs Norris hadn't gotten in the way. You can   
probably imagine what happened next…Filch. Detention.  
  
So he made me clean out this old classroom. Wanted me to dust some of the   
tables and chairs. Well, there was a great big dust sheet in the corner of the   
room, covering something up. Naturally, me being me, I wanted to take a look. I   
pulled off the cover and it was a mirror.  
  
A big, standing mirror. Then I looked into it, expecting to see my gorgeous   
reflection...well, that's when the really weird stuff started happening. It wasn't me.   
I mean, it WAS me, but it didn't really look like me now. It looked the way I'd   
imagine myself to look in about ten years time.  
  
I was standing outside the school, with my parents and Potty and Weasel and   
even the Rabbit (aka Granger). Potty and Weasel were standing either side of   
my, and the Rabbit was next to my mother. Lucius was smiling happily, and I   
thought I heard him say something about how well I'd done, and how proud he   
was of me.   
  
They were my friends? Lucius was proud of me? He was actually HAPPY?  
  
If the mirror showed the future, I hope I die before I reach that day, I sincerely do.   
It's just not right. Although I do hope I look that good in the future. Must say that I   
was looking rather wonderful…for some reason I was wearing leather.  
  
?  
  
10th December  
  
Worked out the leather thing. Leather instantly equals sexy. This is because –  
a)Leather is sort of a dangerous material.  
b)Only the gorgeous are able to wear leather without looking like idiots or   
dragon trainer wannabes.  
c)Leather is actually outlawed in Bulgaria because certain vampires found it   
allowed them to walk around in the sun without getting fried.  
  
Ha ha ha. I am officially the King of Leather. Must write to Narcissa and ask for a   
leather jacket or something similar.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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